In the wake of the largest mass shooting in modern US history in Las Vegas, I’ve been at a loss…
A loss for words…
A loss for understanding…
A loss, a feeling of grief and despair, for those who are grief and despair right now.
I want to help, in any way I can, and I also want to just cry.
My heart breaks.
The only thing that has given me solace over the last 48 hours is reflecting on the question: “How am I being called to act(ion)?”
To my newer friends, this may be, well, new…
To those of you who have known me for some time…you know, and have been there through grieving the unexpected loss of loved ones who were taken before their time.
The way life has played out, I’m an experiential expert at ambiguous loss. The pain has been immense, and the experience has taught me to lead my life unapologetically because I know in my core that tomorrow can never be taken for granted.
It has weighed my heart, it has made me "overly" aware of one's mortality, and it has also cut through the BS. It made me honor what truly matters when it would be easy to be caught up in the optics.
At times, the only thing that has seemed to help has been to be there for others in their grief.
So, today…for those of you who may not know where to go right now, I extend a hand and offer my heart, soul, and scar tissue, so you may have somewhere to go.
I too am an infallible human being. I choose to be there for you. I ask that you ask for what you need.
If you’re being called to do something right now…whatever it is or may be…I hope you say yes.
I will help you make that happen.
Do not wait another day to be happy. It's not worth it, I promise. Do not look back and wonder, "Why did I wait so long?"
For whatever emotions come up along the way, know that simply because you know me, or know someone who knows me, that my door is open to you.
If you need help processing deep emotions, if you need help asking for help…I am here to listen and let you know you’re not alone.
I hope to pass on these lessons I've learned that they may be of help:
- Feel your feelings. If you don't feel them now, they'll be internalized and compartmentalized, which means they'll intensify under pressure, and show up later in more destructive, unpredictable ways. Give yourself the space and time to be with yourself now. It's a process and will take time, but putting it off, only adds more time and pain. The only way to it is through it. Be gentle with yourself and ask for help. Allow yourself to be supported. Support each other.
- Let go of the rational. Let your brain know it can stop trying to make sense of this. Thank it for looking out for you, and instruct it to take a nap. This isn't going to make sense. Put that energy towards being there for those around you. Connecting with each other is the best anecdote.
- Put your energy to intentional use. There is irony in that when we don't know what do to is exactly the right time to figure out what to do. What's one thing that will help you feel ok? Let this pause be a time to ask yourself questions. If you knew what to do, and you knew what you wanted to do, what one thing would you commit to and follow through with? Go do that one thing + repeat.
There are two things I’m asking for:
- Message me if you feel you could use some support right now
- If you’re feeling called to do something or change in response to what you’re experiencing right now, I will do all I can to support you. Let me know how I can be of service, or reach out to someone whom you'd like to ask for support.
I want us to look back a year from now and know we stepped up and made the best out of our deepest pain.
I wasn’t sure what to do with mine until I learned what it was, how to be with it, and how to create something beyond myself because of it, so I hope to extend this gift to those in need. If that is you or someone you know, please reach out. I am here.
To heeding the promptings before they become so loud, we regret we didn’t listen sooner…
We know enough. The time to learn and act is now. Let’s do this together.
The greatest way to honor those we’ve lost is to live a life that honors the gift of fully living.
To those we’ve lost too soon, and to how we awaken because of them, and to honor them <3
We will honor you.